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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25163269">lost and found</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Multi, Other, dead edward</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:02:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25163269</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>after edward left bella in the woods she thought her life was over . little did she know it was just beginning</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Athenodora/Didyme/Sulpicia/Bella Swan, Esme Cullen/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. my story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'm Bella Swan, and this is my story of how i went from being a sweet selfless human girl to a powerful ruthless vampire and 
how i was betrayed by the people i once loved.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>song for this chapter Is lost boy by Ruth.B</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. he left me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>trigger warning rape ahead</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>can we go on a walk edward asked me . um sure i asked a little suprised charlie was coming home soon and he would not be happy if edward was here . we walked into the woods and i got more uneasy with each step , edward was acting oddly .we came to a stop deep in the woods all i could see were trees then edward turned to face me.he had a huge grin on his face ,i got scared this wasent the edward i knew the kind funny one this , this was a monster.i blinked and he was behind me trailing ice cold fingers along my neck leaning in to smell me "poor little lamb" he whispered laughing cruelly at me "so sweet so trusting who could ever love you ?"i stared at him inshock my heart hammering wildly in my chest "i i thought you did " he pushed me hard i hit a tree and slid to the ground i'd hit my head and he seemed mesmirized by the blood "your going to taste so sweet "he growled his eyes pitch black . "but i think ill have some fun first.<br/>
"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>a few hours later i lay naked on the forest floor too numb to even cry my whole body aching i couldnt believe what had just happened. that edward the man i loved had raped and tortured me delighting in my screams and cries .i tried to stand up determined to live .for charlie but as soon as i stood upright my legs gave out beneath me and i fainted as i fell back down wishing cold arms would  catch  me .as I fell to the floor, all i saw was black</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>falling in reverse. brother is the song</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. numbness and pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>self harm  trigger warning again read at your own risk i writing this from my experiences of self harm I'm a cutter it might  be different for you but this is me .</p><p>I actually use the blade part of a razor I've taken out but...</p><p>I wanted Bella to cut herself by accident the first time and that wouldn't have worked.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i woke up in bed a sheet covering my naked body i was covered in bruises and deep scratches .</p><p>I  unsteadily got up and wobbled to the shower . i put the water on hot, sobbing again as i remembered yesterday, I felt dirty,unclean, violated.</p><p> I reached out to grab the soap,  and accidentally hit my razor, it cut my fingertips like butter. I  held them under the water ,mesmerized with my own blood and the way it felt. 

I'd forgotten how much I'd truly missed it ,I used to cut a lot but I stopped just before I came to forks.I'd promised myself,I would never cut again.

 my arms were already covered in scars. But  it cut through all the numbness it made me feel . I reached out blindly to grad the razor sliding it in a long cut up my left arm i smiled as i watched a small line of crimson blood bead on top of my porcelain skin  i welcomed the sting the burn the reminder i was alive i made about 20 more cuts along both my arms before stepping out of the shower and  wrapping my long mahogany hair up in a towel to dry it .i put on plain jeans and a long sleeved black top and went downstairs .</p><p>charlie was sitting at the table eating toast i made myself cereal and sat down opposite him ,i just stirred the cereal , i wasn't  hungry .charlie coughed awkwardly  "um bells I'm  afaid ive got some bad news for you " i leant forward listening did he know ? how could he know?"the cullens have left town "he said "uh did they say bye to you ?"tears filled my eyes "no they didnt i " whispered staring into my soggy bowl of cornflakes .thought alice was my friend .but then again she must have seen edward make the decision to rape me and didnt stop him</p><p> .venom is thicker than water i guess.</p><p>.i excused myself and went upstairs to rip up my photos of the cullens .the were gone all my pictures of them ,of him were gone i nearly screamed in anger or fustration even after they were gone they continued to control me .i settled with writing thier names on a piece of paper then ripping it to shreds .it made me  feel slightly better but not much .</p><p> i felt empty not even angry just empty i knew what would make me feel better , i ran to the bathroom grabbed the razor and reopened most of the cuts making a few new ones , my blood dripped to the floor making a perfect scarlet pool . a nearly laughed at least something about me was perfect , my blood .  i looked at myself in the mirror and was disgusted i was so ugly no wonder edward left me why would someone so beautiful and perfect  like him ever  want ugly fat me i vowed to become thinner i would show him i could be perfect too.</p><p>He proably left me for tanya or some other beautiful women.</p><p> I'd never be good enough for him, he deserved someone perfect,someone who'd be with him forever.</p><p>How could I have ever thought he loved me , I was just a ugly,fat,pathetic human girl. He'd only ever pretended to love me because of my blood.</p><p>I remembered all how he'd swooped in to save me from james, how through my blurry eyes he'd looked like an avenging angel, too beautiful to be human . I'd really thought that he cared then, as he sucked the venom out , because he didn't want my soul to be damned.</p><p>How could someone so loving, hurt me like this.</p><p>He'd stayed until my broken leg and injuries had heald then left, he still haunted my nightmares. I woke up screaming most nights , feeling his cold hands hold me down, hearing his cruel laugh.</p><p>Edward Cullen had broken me, in a way no one else ever could.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The way she feels by between the trees</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. starving for perfection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>bella is 5,3 ,17 ,long brown hair</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i smiled as i stepped on the scales it had been two week since he'd gone and I'd barely eaten at all.

 I'd gone from 100 lbs to 60 lbs i could tell charlie was starting to notice my weight loss hed started to sit and watched me while i ate or pretended to anyway i hid the food in my pockets and he seemed satisfied .there had been no sign of victoria . i was quite disappointed I'd been thinking about suicide a lot but if she killed me than it would be bettter for charlie if i killed myself hed blame himself and renee would blame him too. my arms were covered in angry red cuts and i wore long sleeves and baggy clothes all the time .you could see my collarbones and ribs . as i stared at my body all i could think was fat and not good enough . i burst into hopeless tears which soon turned to angry why couldnt i kill myself i was fed up of always doing what was best for others and not doing anything for myself i ran outside into my truck and drove to la push cliffs i walked to the edge looking down at the dark angry sea beneath i took a deep breath i wouldnt write a note then if my body was found washed up on the beach it could be said to be an accident i jumped the sea felt like concrete when i hit it it winded me i was quickley dragged under and evey thing went black . the last thing i saw was fiery red swimming towards me.</p><p> </p><p>victorias pov</p><p>id been hanging around in the sea for a while waiting for those overgrown dogs to finish thier patrols so i could find that human girl she was the fault james was dead. i knew james wasent my mate but  we were still close and i wanted to avenge him . my eyes narrowed in confusion and i watched what looked like the very girl i wanted on the cliffs looking down .what was she doing? i understood a second later as she jumped she was trying to kill herself it seemed we had the same goal .i swam forward as she sank and grabbed her and pulled her to the surface she was unconcious and i considered my options i could kill her let her drown or or i sank my teeth into her neck and pulled away i would let her live i carried her to a small cave in the cliff that i had been hiding in whwn the dogs jumped into the sea looking for me i carried her deep in so her screams wouldnt be heard and left she could deal with being a killing machine by herself hopefully shed kill her father without realising that would be funny i left maybe id swim to france .</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sophie by Elanor Mcevoy</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. waking up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i was in agony i relished in the pain the fire that 
coursed through my veins death was supposed to be painless but this was better i deserved this.then just as suddenly as it had started it stopped .i lay in confusion before slowly opening my eyes . i sat up looking around me in confusion i was in a dark cave though i could see clearly.it was only when i felt the burn in my throat that i realised what i was .i growled and punched the wall of the cave it exploded showin light i climbed through the hole and looked around me in awe .everything was so clear i could see miles out to sea . i felt an unescapable urge to jump into the sea so i did , i landed on top of the water .yes thats right on top.i was confused about why i wasn't sinking but decided it just a vampire thing and took of running on top of the water, just then a gust of wind blew me up into the sky and i soared effortlesly through the clouds laughing at how free i felt i had an idea and started to spin in mid air waving my arms as i got faster i felt the air thicken around me and when i stopped i saw i had created my own tornado i blew on it and it spun away .i gracefully dropped back on to the surface of the sea .and  stared at the sea in front of me willing it to move a huge wave rose up at my command and swept me on top of it i surfed on top of the wave until it reached cliffs i jumped onto land and climbed up the cliffs almost laughing at how easy it was . then i caught a scent i recognised a smell of sunshine lilac and honey b<br/>
ut with dark undertones that i had missed as a human .edward was here my need for revenge took over my mind and i followed his scent my eyes pitch black with anger .i came to a large house i could smell HIM inside it but also a homley smell of baking bread and cinnamon who i guessed was esme and a smell of bubblegum and apples , alice .i was filled with a wave of hate towards them all .i had thought esme as my mother and alice my sister but they'd both left they didnt care and neither would i .i would kill edward i would make him suffer as i had i might kill the other cullens after all they never loved me it was all fake .the only i dont hate is rosalie she never pretended to love me she always showed her true feelings and if i wasent going to kill rosalie i couldnt kill emmett her mate either. i didnt care about them anymore .i would let them live .besides i knew i had no chance of defeating jasper in a fight.i would watch edward ,wait till he was alone and then attack .</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Superficial love by Ruth.b</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. this is your fault</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i kind of like empty by olivia o'brien for this story and hey little girl by sophie.b marie</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i silently crept inside and turned invisible .esme 
was in the kitchen sketching design plans for a new house,i looked at her i thought it would hurt seeing them again but i just felt numb.</p><p>I went up the stairs glad there was no creaks and saw alice in her closet having a try-on-athon.</p><p>edward was in his room softly playing the piano. 
As soon as I saw him ,I was filled with hate so strong it broke out of the numbness.</p><p>I had an overwhelming desire to hurt him, like he had hurt me. To rip him apart ,for him to long for death like i had. I was suprised at my thoughts I'd never been particularly bloodthirsty ,maybe that just came with being a red-eyed demon who sparkled in the sun.</p><p>I was distracted by the burn in my throat ,I realised I hadn't fed yet. I ran into the woods until i came to a large town . Seeing so many people was torture but i knew i couldnt just kill one in the middle of the street.i followed a man who smelt like alchohol down a dark alleyway he was following a young girl i pounced on him and quickley fed moaning as his sweet life source dripped down my throat i felt even stronger than before . i was wonderful .how could the cullens go without this for animal blood?yuck.</p><p>just then i smelt honey and cinnamon .a vampire scent .it must be one of the cullens id guess jasper or carlisle.turned invisble hiding against a wall just as a blonde vampire came down the alley he must of smelt me i was going to have to be more careful .i almost gasped and gave myself away when he came closer i knew jasper  would have some scars but he was covered i felt threatened and fought to not attack knowing i wouldn't win .he gave up looking and left proably returning home to his family.</p><p>Charlie was proably worried sick and thought id killed myself.but i couldnt return the eyes were to hard to explain and i didn't trust myself not to lose control and hurt him.
i was all alone now the cullens didn't want me ,nobody did.
Now I couldn't even kill myself.maybe after I'd had my revenge and killed edward . I would go to the volturi and ask to die,they had no reason to deny me that.</p><p> I couldn't even cut anymore my skin was 
 too hard .i rolled my long sleeves up and gazed my arms both were marked with hundreds of lines some white and almost invisible some thicker and a pale pink.i wondered if anything could cut vampire skin after all jasper had all those scars from after he became a vampire thats it!  </p><p>i held my arm up to my mouth bit down and dragged my teeth along and watching excitedly to see if it would work. A slow line of blood welled up, it was thicker and darker than human blood but I was colder too now,  i guess. I did it a couple more times and satisfied, rolled my sleeves down and went to spy on the cullens.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i think this is my longest chapter yet</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. the volturi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'd been spying on those🐰 bunny munchers🐰 and was dissapointed with how boring the were and all fuckward did was mope in his room.the whole family was sympathetic to him especially carlisle.</p><p>Rosalie was the least sympathetic, she constantly told him to get over me,and move on.</p>

<p>Wandering around thier house, I was seriously creeped out, there was literally a wall of graduation caps.
Who'd waste all of their immortal life, going to school over and over again.</p>

<p>Fuckward's room was filled with pictures of me, I got goosebumps looking at the angle of some of the pictures.</p>

<p>He must of spied on me a lot, the creepy pervert.
I mean he's like a hundred and fifty and I'm only seventeen.</p>

<p>I remember him always spying me through the window, watching me when I slept and stalking me everywhere.
The control freak hated it when I saw any of my friends, especially Jacob.</p>

<p>I could understand his hate of Jacob a little , I mean they are like natural enemies and everything.
I'm not too fond of werewolves either. I have three huge scars, in the shape of claw marks all the way down my back, from a unpleasent werewolf I met in Russia.
</p>
<p> </p><p>I spied on the bunnymunchers for a couple of days and just when was bored out of my wits,  I heard an phone call that was not so boring.it was carlisle talking to someone called sulpicia .i didn't know who she was and i didn't really care. What interested me was that carlisle said they had smelt someone hanging around proably a newborn and this sulpicia person said she would send down a few guards to kill me .I kind of panicked if they came than i would not get my revenge on fuckward i needed to act fast and somehow kidnap a much  older vampire from a house of (probably)paranoid other vampires.i could expose myself and ask to go on a walk with him ha deja vu . or i could sneak into his room cover his mouth and teleport somewhere else.</p><p> </p><p>i obviously went for the latter as if i asked he'd proably scream my name or somethin stupid like that and they would all know i was here.edward was rearranging his beloved  cds honestly he loved those cds more than his whole family .</p>

<p>weirdo.</p><p>how could i ever have loved him. been so blind to his flaws.id never be so weak as to fall in love again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. torture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS!"I screamed ripping of another of fuckwards fingers and burning it.<br/>
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"he screamed"YOU BITCH!"I only smirk at him. </p><p>


it took me hours to figure out a plan for kidnapping the sissy boy.But it worked perfectly and I'd soon teleported us to a remote Albanian forest,it was very satisfying torturing him,it was exhilarating.it made me feel better about myself .his screams and pleads were music to my ears. I'd discovered that I had a pain causing gift like Jane's.i knew why she liked torturing people so much it was fun.</p><p> 


I ripped edward to pieces slowly to cause as much pain as possible starting with his toes then fingers than feet and hands .I left his head until last knowing that without it he would feel no pain.after hours it might have been days,I'd finally finished my fun,I had taken particular pleasure in ripping off his pitifully tiny penis and balls. I then burned the various pieces of him and collected the ashes in a fancy porcelain jar i had brought especially.i teleported back and placed the jar of ashes outside the front door,with a note simply  saying 'edward ' i wrote the note in my best calligraphy so they didnt recognise my handwriting.

when I was 12 or 13 I had taught myself  calligraphy as well as dozens of languages and the tightrope ,trapeze , swordfighting and riding.the cullens didn't know they could never be bothered to find out anything about me ,all they talked about was themselves. I enjoyed doing these activities because they made me forget about my  crappy life. I was bullied by all the other children and Renee used to hit me a lot and get her boyfriends to whip and rape me . I was starved and called names.i am still covered in scars some say slut and bitch ,she had fun carving words into my skin.</p><p>I always longed to meet charlie,I was typically scared of men and of being touched but I longed for his love.

</p><p>I felt happy and full of hope,I had good control over my bloodlust. Maybe i could go and see charlie ,he'd be so worried about me ,and i could wear brown contact lenses.</p><p>I changed my bloody clothes,and wahed in a lake close by. The water was proably freezing but I didn't care. I teleported back to forks wearing some big dark sunglasses I'd found and ran to Charlie's house. I knocked on the door and waited ,nobody answered."charlie!"I shouted "it's me ,bella!" i hit the door and too my suprise it swung open.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>bella can speak as well as english<br/>french,italian,german,spanish,russian,mandarin,cantonese,japenese,vietnamese,polish and dutch, welsh, and many others .</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. wolves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I scrunch my nose and nearly gag in disgust as I step inside ,the whole place reeks of wet dog ,garbage ,and mouldy food.</p><p>"charlie?"I call "are you there?" there's no reply I shrug maybe he's gone fishing or down the reservation with Billy.</p><p>"He's dead LEECH!" a deep rough yet oddly familiar voice sneers at me "and it's your fault ."</p><p>my sob catches in my throat ,my eyes full of tears that would never be shed "W-who killed him ?" I manage to stutter ,turning around to face the man i once loved ,Jacob,my best friend ,my sun ,the one who was always there for me . </p><p>"One of your bloodsucker friends killed him!"he says mockingly "the redhead,you missed the funeral .guess you don't have to kill him now ." </p><p>"I would never hurt charlie !" I hiss angrily hurt that he'd ever think that .</p><p>"oooh ,"he smirks at me "your a leech bella,thats what leeches do,they kill people,they ruin lives,thats what you are." he jumps at me phasing into a huge russet coloured wolf . </p><p>I  dodge his clumsy attacks with ease and throw him through at a wall gleefully snapping his neck ,choosing speed over amusement.</p><p>I know wolves are usaully pack animals and  briefly debate staying here and letting them kill me but remember I need to avenge charlie and kill victoria.</p><p> </p><p>I focus on her ginger and vanilla scent and teleport somewhere to a small and rather sweet  cottage . her scent is days old though ,she hasn't been here for a while. I find the nearest place , a small quaint french village . I quickley hunt and find someone who's thoughts are helpful ,I walk up to her and smile and say "excusez-moi , avez-vous vu une belle femme aux cheveux roux ici recemment?"</p><p>"tu veux dire victoria ? elle est partie il y a quelques heures. she replys .</p><p>"merci " I say politely and leave following a newer trail of her scent.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>bella says -excuse me ,have you seen a beautiful red haired woman around here lately ?  thank you </p><p> </p><p>the woman says -you mean victoria? she lft a few hours ago .</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. the cullens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>🍷volterra,volturi castle,esme pov 🍷 </p><p>


we are at the volturi castle ,hoping that they can help us find edward.My poor son has been so sad, since we had to leave for the own good of that sweet human girl.I hope she's ok,Edward said we couldn't have any contact,a clean break would be easier for all of us . We all miss her having her around , she made us feel almost human and she was like my daughter.Even Rosalie misses her even though she says she dosn't.</p><p>just then Carlisle's phone rang ,and he pulled it out of his pocket and answered "hello ,"he said dully all emotion gone from his voice."hello LEECH !"an angry voice spat "you broke the treaty ,"carlisle looked confused"no we didn't ,"he said "we haven't even been back to forks,"The whole family and all of the volturi were listening now looking intrested.</p><p>"you broke the treaty ,"the angry voice accused"you turned a human."
"I assure you we didn't." he said calmly.</p><p>"whatever,"sam spat"I knew you'd deny it,but we don't care we just want you t
 find bella and bring her to us for us too kill."  bella I thought anxiously did he mean bella swan was a vampire?
"do you mean bella swan ?"carlisle asked more calmly than I would have been able too.</p><p>"yes she turned up a few days ago looking for charlie ,and jacob told her he's dead ,she killed jacob, and we want revenge , find her."and he hung up.</p><p>"bellas alive?"alice whispered looking unbearably excited,if this turned out to be fake it would break her heart,all of our hearts.</p><p>"who's bella?" athenodora asked looking mildly interested.</p><p>"that human girl , who edward thought was his mate,"Sulpicia answered ,having of course seen everything in our memories.</p><p>"She was his mate ." Carlisle said firmly "He loved her, and she loves him."</p><p>Athenodora scoffed "He left the girl didn't he, mates can't leave each other."</p><p>"He didn't want to leave ," Carlisle protested , refusing to believe his favourite son was anything other than perfect,He forgave edward everything, whenever he slipped carlisle comforted him , when we left forks ,carlisle was perhaps to sympathetic for edwards own good and encouraged his sulking in his room .</p><p>I loved my son too , but I was not so blind to his flaws. I'd noticed how he was overly controlling towards bella,not letting her see her other friends and being over protective.I noticed how if she said something he didn't like , he'd give her a sly pinch or poke,I'd seen the bruises on her arms.</p><p>I'd seen the way she looked at him,like he was her sun , And I'd seen the way he looked at her , with a cruel smirk on his face , he'd treated her like a possession .  I'd dismissed this in love of edward , my first born son but I could see it all too clearly now, He'd didn't love her , he never had. </p><p>He kept her around to  use her scent lke a drug to show of to us , by proving how strong he was, he tricked her into believing they were mates. And when things got hard he'd cast her away , without a second thought.</p><p>She was better off without him, without him she stood a chance at a normal human life . But even that had been stolen from her by whoever turned her. I wanted to cry as I imagined poor sweet little bella  , alone and confused . Grieving her father and still thinking that we had willingly abandoned her. </p><p>"We need to find her," I said , speaking for the first time , since we had arrived here. The fancy castle and scary guards always intimidated me.But I was filled with passion, We had to find bella , I'd understand if she wanted nothing more to do with us but all we could do now was apologise and hope she forgave us for the unforgivable acts I and my family had done.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. old friends and new enemies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bella was bored, victoria was dead, charlie was dead, Renee and phil were dead.And now Bella was lonely, so she did something she hadn't done for years.</p><p>She picked up her phone ,she dialled the number, and waited holding the phone to her ear only to regret it as a warm friendly voice shouted "helo chwaer fach!"- hello little sister.</p><p> </p><p>Bella smiled , she'd forgotten how much she missed  the eccentric alchemist, and his crazy ideas."helo myrnin."- hello myrnin.she replied."sut wyt ti?"- how are you. She hoped he was ok , sometimes he got into bad moods and went crazy. He'd nearly killed her in one of these moods, But most of the time he was so sweet , gentle and caring, it was impossible not to forgive him.</p><p> </p><p>"Da ond , ble buoch chi'n chwaer fach nid wyf wedi eich gweld ers i'r fam honno symud i ffwrdd,ac mae bob yn dy golli di!" -good but, where have you been little sister, I haven't seen you since that mother of yours moved away . And bob misses you. </p><p>Bella blinked in suprise , the spider missed her.<br/>
That was a suprise. Last time she'd seen Bob he had tried to eat her. Myrnin said they were bonding, but to be honest bella really didn't want to make friends with a giant mutant spider, that wanted to eat her.</p><p>She had tried to convince myrnin that the  spider was evil, but he would never believe her, he loved Bob.</p><p> </p><p>Myrnin was a good friend but unsteady , he often had forgotten who she was and screamed at her to get<br/>
out of his house. </p><p>Trusting Myrnin was kinda like jumping of a cliff , knowing there might be a net at the bottom , but that there proably isen't. Trusting Myrnin is jumping of anyway.</p><p>He was one of the very, very few people that had earned her trust  and friendship.And he was about the only person who hadn't broken it.Crazy as he was she'd trust myrnin with her life. 

</p>
<p>He'd always been there for her to comfort her when she cried ,To calm her during her panic attacks , He was the only person that had ever been there for her.</p>

<p>She'd stopped visiting him , because he'd told her about the volturi,and she didn't want him die , just because she was a supernatural magnet.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>who knows what book myrnin and bob are from?</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. hey little girl</h2></a>
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    <p>I felt more alone than ever before. I lay on the soft ground in the middle of the forest and stared upwards.I felt numb. Even cutting, my one relief no longer provided more than even a few seconds of happiness.</p><p>I wanted to die, instead I put on my new favourite song.</p><p>☆<em>I'm</em> <em>all </em> choked up , can not talk. Got a fucked up brain , fucked up thoughts. Thought I was ok,but I guess not. Hope you know this is your fault.☆</p><p>This is their fault,the cullens. I had just barely started crawled out of the deep pit of mental illness,I was clinging on to the edge with my fingertips. They pushed me back down.</p><p>I hope they feel bad about me, but I bet they don't. They never cared about me , I was just a toy to them,something to make them feel more human.</p><p>☆Want you to feel bad ,when you go to sleep. Hope your sad,when you remember me. I hope your feeling bad, for all you did to me. I hope you lie there, in your misery.☆</p><p>I bet they dont even remember me. I was just a pathetic human. I wish they had just let jasper kill me.</p><p>☆Hey little girl , you never believed there's a ghost inside of you , but it's hidden too deep. Hey little girl , you never imagined , you'd get a little older, you'd get abandoned.☆</p><p>Because that's what they'd done.</p><p>They'd abandoned me, they were like my family and that hurt more than anything.Because I'd trusted them, that made me vulnerable.</p><p>I was never hurt by Renee's harsh words, I was never hurt by her throwing me out of the house for sometimes weeks on end, before dragging me back. Because I knew what she was like, I learned young that if you wanted anything , you had to do it yourself .</p><p>I lived for the small village library, by the age of five , I'd read every book. I used to get free rides to the close big town library by hanging on the back of the vegetable truck, which went weekly to market.</p><p>Renee hated me reading ,but it was my only escape from her and her numerous boyfriends. She had a gift for influencing people to be the worst they could, I bet half of the men who abused me , would never have done it without her.</p><p>Except Boris, I remember him well. I was about four, when Renee brought him into our lives. He was the first to rape me, and I could see in his face the genuine pleasure of being cruel.</p><p>I started having nightmares after that , from which I woke screaming. Renee hit me everytime I did, I learned to be silent , and to only scream on the inside.</p><p>I never knew why Renee hated me so much, all I wanted to do was please her.I was convinced that it was my fault. That she only punished me for my own good , to help me be a better person.</p><p>If only she could see me now .</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Who's POV should the next chapter be in ?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. forgive me little sister</h2></a>
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    <p>🌷ROSALIE POV🌷</p><p> </p><p>I moved closer to Emmett, as jasper and Carlisle began coming up with a plan to catch Bella.</p><p>Poor little Bella, I'd only agreed to leave so she could have a normal human life, get married, have children.  Everything I'd ever wanted and no longer had the chance too.  </p><p>Now she was a bloodthirsty monster like the rest of us.</p><p>I could just imagine her blending seamlessly into this family, she would be a perfect cullen, the perfect littl sister, for emmett to prank and tease. A perfect little sister for alice to go shopping with and dress up, I could teach her to fix cars and go hunting, Esme would be overjoyed to have bella back, Bella had been like her daughter , more fragile than the rest of us but only more perfect for it.</p><p>As much as I denied it, and told Edward to get over her, I really did miss my sweet little sister. </p><p>I was perhaps never as close to her as the others, but I was scared for her,every second that beautiful little human was around us , her life was in danger. I only ever wanted to protect her from us, but I'd proably made a huge mistake, She must hate me for my cruelty towards her . </p><p>I made a promise that I would do everything in my power to earn her trust and love, even though I didn't deserve it.</p><p>I was not at all worried about Edward, he'd gone off by himself sulking before,and anyway it was peaceful without his constant moans and whines.</p><p>He always acted like he was the only one who missed bella. He even went as far as to say we made him leave , and not the other way around.</p><p>Edward had Carlisle wrapped around his little finger, whatever edward said , carlisle agreed with. </p><p>That man had some serious favouritism, iust because edward was the first he turned . </p><p>Sometimes I wonder who is the leader of this coven ; Carlisle or Edward.</p><p>I'd debated leaving , but though I knew he would go with me , it didn't seem fair to Emmett, who loved being part of a family and pulling pranks on all of them. And anyway I'd never be brave enough to start out on my own.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Why should I forgive you</h2></a>
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    <p>I sighed as I tossed yet another lifeless to the ground waving my hand carelessly to set it on fire. I hated my new life even more than I had hated my old.</p><p>As much as I was loath to admit it , I did miss the cullens. Even after all they'd done to me I still longed to be part of thier family. I smiled as I came up with a plan;<br/>
Maybe it was time to pay the Cullens a visit.Though I knew I could never be one of them now, I had killed edward , they'd all hate me when they knew, I don't need them anyway , I don't need anyone.</p><p> </p><p>I concentrated on Rosalie, the cullen I hated the least, and teleported to a fancy room which smelt like roses,lilies and honey and orange . This was obviously where they were staying though I didn't know where this actually was.As I was pondering what to do next I heard footsteps coming along the corridor to the room . I made a split-second decision and , turning invisible slipped out of the door and watched as Rosalie, arm in arm with Emmett , went inside. They looked even more beautiful and perfect now with ny enhanced senses.</p><p>I set of along a long fancy corridor with elaborately carved stone walls and a thick red carpet which my feet sunk into.As I was turning the corner a huge heavily muscled man with a similar build to Emmett walked past me as I pressed myself into the wall and......</p><p> </p><p>Accidently somehow I fell through it into yet another long winding corrider. I groaned quietly in frustration I didn't even know what I was still doing here, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to leave , I was curious of who lived here. They must have good memory , I was sure that if I lived here I would get hopelessly lost all the time.</p><p>So lost in thoughts was I that I wasn't looking were I was going and bumped into another cold hard body. 
oops.<br/>
" Hey !" the person I hit shouted " who's there?"  the person was a small slim girl with a long black cloak and pale blonde hair. Her eyes were a much darker shade of red than mine, more burgandy that crimson. </p><p>Glad she couldn't see me I edged cautiously around her and continued down the mysterious halls.</p><p>I passed many large doors all gorgeously decorated with gold handles,to be honest I had absolutely no idea where I was.<br/>
As I was passing yet another huge door I saw a huge portrait of three men ; two with hair as black as night and one with ghostly white. I vaugley remember seeing a similar painting in the Cullens house . I remembered edward telling me they were the kings of the vampire world. Maybe I could ask them to kill me , as it seems it is impossible to kill myself, after all they had no reason to deny me.</p><p>The Cullens might object but once I told them I killed edward they'd want to kill me themselves. Satisfied with my seemingly flawless plan I continued through the maze of corridors  with a new determination.</p><p>I would die, one way or another.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. I hate you</h2></a>
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    <p>Passing yet another door, identical to the past fifty I had aleady seen , I paused I could hear voices inside, voices I recognised.</p><p>Listening carefully I realised the voices were that of Carlisle and Esme having a conversation . Esme, The Cullen I missed the most , and who I hated the most,she had been like the perfect mother I'd always dreamed of. </p><p>It had hurt me the most when she had left because I had loved her the most and longed for her to be my mother.<br/>
I realised now that is was too late, I'd grown up with a mother who hit me every day, who screamed at me and told me I was worthless.</p><p>Their voices drifted over me like music, they were discussing me , and how to find me, how did they know I was a vampire ? </p><p>And if they did why hadn't alice seen me coming here, and confronted me , why hadn't she seen me killing edward ? </p><p>Taking a deep breath I made a decision I knew I would later come to regret. Comforting myself with the thought I could teleport out if I needed to, I turned visible and opened the door stepping through.</p><p>Their expressions as they saw me were a mixture of shock, delight and confusion. " bella?" Esme asks, looking like she doesn't believe I'm actually here " is that actually you?". </p><p>carefully getting ready to escape if I need to, I answer hesitantly"yes."</p><p>"oh bella ," esme whispers, looking like she would cry if it was possible , as she stands up and tries to hug me , I quickley doge out of her way , she looks briefly hurt before her face bursts into a smile again. " you came back!"</p><p>I watch her warily not wanting to be hugged, as she continues looking so unbearably happy I feel uncomfortable, and strangely guilty.</p><p>I killed her son, she's going to hate me now , and I find myself wishing I hadn't.</p><p>NO I remind myself angrily , he deserved to die, I don't like them any more I hate them, and I don't need anybody. I came here to die, and that's all.</p><p>" I killed Edward ." I say bluntly , wanting to get this over with as fast as possible, I need to make her hate me so I can truly hate her.</p><p>She looks upset before rearranging her features into a kind smile " it's ok sweetie I understand , your only young , you don't have very good control over your emotions yet ,and he did leave you ."</p><p>I Stagger backwards in shock WHAT? she's supposed to hate me, why dosen't she?"but-but I killed him ," I stutter to shocked say anything else "your supposed to hate me, why don't you?"</p><p>She gives me a gentle smile "Because that's what you do with people you love," she replied " you forgive."</p><p>"Why did you you kill him bella ?" Carlisle asks looking so  calm It's scary.</p><p>" Isabella ," I correct, bella was my old name , new life , new name.</p><p>I hesitate , should I tell them what he did to me? As quickley as the thought comes I dismiss it , It's none of their business."I wanted to ." I answer .<br/>
"But you loved him." Carlisle tells me "and he loved you too,It broke his heart to leave you." </p><p>I hold back laughter, I knew he had never loved me, I was just a toy to him.</p><p>"Why don't you just wait here," Esme suggested"and I'll go and get the others." </p><p>Should I speak to them? Maybe some of them would be angry and want to avenge him. I knew Alice had a good relationship with him, and Rosalie hated me anyway. I nod and Carlisle leaves , to go get the others.</p><p>"so Bella how have you been?" Esme Asks with her trademark warm smile. This time I can't hold back the laughter,as I laugh helplessly and unable to stop."how have I been?" I manage to choke out ,still weak from my brief fit of happiness" How do you think I've been?" </p><p>She looks perplexed by my response " We've all been upset too." she tells me.</p><p>"Upset?" I ask,I can feel the rage under the surface, bubbling to the top, Is that all they think I went through? being upset?</p><p>"You don't know what I've been through." I say quietly,restraining myself from destroying something.</p><p>"Tell me." She pleads"I want to understand."</p><p>"No." I say, how dare she think she has any right to know what happened to me "It's none of your business."</p><p> </p><p>I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I tell myself.<br/>
But why is that so hard to remember?</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Hi</h2></a>
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    <p>Carlisle POV</p><p> </p><p>Why did she kill him? I ponder as I walk along the corridor to the throne room where I know most of the volturi and my family were gathered. </p><p>I open the Beautiful double doors,and step inside Announcing "Bellas here."<br/>
Dozens of heads turn to me in confusion,Sulpicia simply holding out her hand.I step forward,placing my hand on hers, When she releases mine I step back and look at my family.<br/>
Alice is bouncing up and down excitedly. Jasper looks thoughtful.</p><p>"where are Emmett and Rosalie?" I asked,wanting us to speak to bella all together.</p><p>"I'll go get them." Alice eagerly volunteered,dashing out of the room.And returning only minutes later dragging a dishevelled Emmett and of course a perfectly composed Rosalie,never a hair out of place


</p><p>"Is it true Carly?" Emmett yells,"Is Bella-Bear here,".
I sigh,I hate being called Carly though I gave up telling Emmett that years ago.</p><p>"Yes Emmett,"I reply,quite anxious about him,what if he tries to hug her,she reacted badly to esme's earlier attempt.</p><p>"How did she get here?'' Jasper asks,as sensible as always."Thats what I want to know." I reply,already thinking up possibilitys. </p><p>

/p&gt;</p><p>As a family we walk along the corridor to the guest room Esme and I are staying in.I pause just outside and turn to my family;<br/>
"Be quiet Emmett." I ask"you don't want to overwhelm her "<br/>
He nods,looking so excited,they all do i hope they they arn't dissapointed.</p><p>Opening the door,I see Bella sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed,looking like she'd rather be anywhere else than here.</p><p>My beautiful wife sits in a chair facing bella,as I enter she turns around and mouths"she won't tell me anything."</p><p>" Bella?"Rosalie says softly,stepping forward"are you ok?"<br/>"wonderful,"bella mutters sarcastically,"and my name is Isabella,not bella."</p>
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